Ben Yehuda Street and The Church of the Visitation

Its been so crazy to adjust our schedules. Whenever we drive somewhere, someone looks like this. Such an awesome picture of our tiredness, I love that Jayne's mouth is wide open. The funny part of it was that Ellie was trying to keep Jayne awake and Jayne kept crying because she was so tired and wanted to fall asleep and as soon as we told Ellie to let Jayne asleep, Ellie fell asleep too. Cute white people. In Hawaii they called us Haoles (meaning white people). Here they call us Anglos. :) There is no avoiding the white people name for us. We have such little pigment. :)

We set out in late afternoon to go on an adventure. We didn't have a great map or a specific destination, we just knew we need some dinner and needed to get out for a bit. We headed toward the old city and then decided it was going to be too late to go there and ended up on Ben Yehuda Street. Its a great little outdoor shopping street. No one was hungry still, but I knew they needed to eat. Especially since the little ones woke up at 3 a.m. asking for food. So we found the familiar food of pizza. I thought this was another special picture of us- Jake with his famous pirate face and Jayne half eyes. 

The breeze was blowing and we all put on sweatshirts. It felt nice and kept us awake. It was so nice to be outside and walking around- like zombies. Ben Yehuda Street look the same as it did 17 years ago. Same cute guy (Seth) walking the street with me. :)

For breakfast we have replaced milk for Diet Coke. Trying to put some spunk in this tired bunch. Just kidding. But I came into the kitchen and found Jake snuggled up to a diet coke bottle. He had a swig of it and wouldn't share with the rest of us.

Jake and Ellie get a bit stir crazy and I found them playing tennis in the kitchen. I had to send them outside and they came in after they lost the ball. It was found later. 

The Church Of the Visitation

On the hike up to the church.

Before Seth's doctors appointment on Tuesday, we took our first real field trip just over the hillside to the village of Ein Kerem. There are two churches there - The Church of the Visitation and the Church of John The Baptist.  It was so exciting for us to take the kids to their first historical/religious site. We hiked up the hill to the Church of the Visitation- this is a church commemorating the visit of Mary to her cousin Elizabeth. Both were expecting at the time, Mary with Jesus and Elizabeth with John the Baptist. It says in the Bible that the babies leap in their mother's wombs when they meet. Below is picture of Janis, Jayne, and Jacob in front a beautiful statue of the two women.

Here is the beautiful church behind the kids. I am always blown away with the beautiful mosaics. Those little stones all put together to make such incredible art. 

I loved this poem on the way into the chapel.

Maybe you don't know this, but the arches of Israel are where Seth and I first sat and talked as college students. We always smile when we see them because they remind us of those first days when we met.

Even though we weren't interested in each other at the time, its wonderful to have build our friendship there. 

Here is a cute girl in an arch way. We could have never guess we would be here with this lovely little lady. Jayne had so many questions, like how did Mary get pregnant if God was his father? Good question Jayne. And then when we were in the chapel during mass, she asked if it was a funeral. Lots of questions- with relatively easy answers. 

 The Gate to the Church overlooking the Ein Kerem valley.

You can see we are up on a hillside. You can see behind the terraced hills- terraced by stone walls from years and years ago. 

Ellie got the camera and made Jayne pose. 

The desert in bloom.

 Sam wanted a picture of his sprite can in Hebrew that he bought at the bottom of the hill. I can't help but be in love with this mini Seth. He is such a great helper and is genuinely interested in the sites. I am sure he doesn't quite understand exactly where he is walking and who walked before him there. But I guess none of us really do. 

 Mary's Well

The Bible says that Mary and Elizabeth met at a well. Here is what they call Mary's well. The water system is fascinating and we loved standing right next to it where is was so nice and cool. 

Super Grandma Jannie and the rat pack of kiddos enjoying the cool air from the fountain.

After Seth's doctors appointment, we went to park and met up with an LDS family, the Vogelmans. Seth and I had met them in the fall when we had come to Jerusalem. Elizabeth invited us to play and of coarse the kids were elated to have some playmates and the giant slides.

Dr Appointment Cancelled, Dr Appointment Made

Once we got the internet up, Seth had received an email from Dr G, who he had an appointment with on Monday, saying he was called up by the army and that Seth's appointment would be rescheduled for Thursday. Seth said that that was fine, only because he didn't really want so see that doctor, he wanted to see his partner, Dr K, who was over the trial but he could only get the appointment with Dr G.  Seth then sent off an email to the head doctor, Dr K, saying we had returned to Israel to be apart of the trial and we were would like to meet with him as soon as he had time available. Dr K's secretary responded saying,"He will see you tomorrow at 1:30." Our jaws dropped opened. Only because we know how hard it is to get into see this doctor (usually a 6 month wait) and if you remember our last visit, it took a miracle to get to see him and he saw us on his off hours. So yesterday Seth and I went and met with Dr K. He questioned and examined Seth to see if he still physically qualified for the trial. He said that he might have one more spot in the trial. We held our breath. He asked Seth why he wasn't going to be a part of the same trial that was going to start in Boston? Seth told him because he was diagnosed over 3 years ago and no longer qualifies. Dr K said that was the case for his trial as well. Meaning Seth won't qualify. Then he started a conversation about being treated by what they call compassionate use (this is treating you outside of the trial). We knew that being treated out of compassion was our best shot for treatment and we were happy to have him start the conversation. In September he said that the Health department wasn't letting anyone be treated outside of the trial, but apparently things have change, and they have changed only in the past week (from what I understood). So by next Sunday/Monday Dr K might know IF this is a possibility, but not WHO this is a possibility for. He is being held up by one doctor at the Ministry of Health to allow the compassion treatment to be given. So, this is where we need to call on your prayers. One, that this doctor will allow this compassionate treatment and two, that Seth can be chosen. My heart fills as I think of us being here this week, getting an appointment, and even talking to Dr K of the possibilities of the future. In the last three years I have learned the hurt of disappointment and the careful dance of having hope in something. We must have hope, but sometimes you learn that that thing or path that you have hoped for, isn't suppose to be yours. BUT, I do believe in miracles. I have seen them, I have been apart of them, and I can not deny them. They have been big and small. They have changed our lives and opened our eyes. We still do not know if this trial is what we are suppose to do or why we came to Israel, but we sure would like it to be an option to us. So tonight as you hold your family close and offer a pray, offer one for us that the best thing can happen, and that we can be prepared for that answer "no matter what" it may be.

First Blurry Day (Caution, everyone looks a bit miserable in this post)

Changing your day to night can be tricky. Especially if you are 3 years old and can't tell time. We have been here 3 days now and I am hoping tonight is the night that we actually make it through the night. 

I forgot to mention that when we got home from the airport, everyone picked up their bags to take them up to their room and the one bag left that was suppose to be mine- wasn't mine. We had brought someone else's bag home from the airport. We quickly called the number on the bag and it ended up being the Israeli family's bag that sat next to us on the airplane that Jake had been chatting with (see blurry photo below). So I was without any of my clothes and in my sticky clothes from the 28 hours of travel. We finally tracked down my suitcase- it was in Amsterdam still, and it was delivered to us the second day we were here. I sure was grateful for that. 

But on our first blurry day, we slept for a bit, and showered and then decided to go on a walk-about. We knew there was a little market close and we set out to find it. We went the wrong direction and then asked someone who pointed back up the little hill. We had bribed the crying children with popsicles to the market. Here they are enjoying their popsicles- half awake. The heat here is so intense (and its not even that hot right now)  that if you don't eat your popsicle in 30 seconds then it melts into your hand. Jake was quite frustrated. 

I am amazed to be here in the desert and find such beautiful flowers. Jake was fine to stand in front of the flowers, but couldn't quite find a smile. Sleep is needed for smiles. 

Now the picture below cracks me up more than anything. Seth and I were crying laughing so hard looking at it. We are a complete mess here- Seth's eyes closed, mine swollen shut, Sam the zombie, Ellie trying, Jayne "huh", and Jake the pirate face. I just had to share it with you so you could have a good laugh as well. It is so funny. The best part is that I posted it on Facebook and people were so nice about it. I guess they love us "no matter what" or what we look like- like we are all hung over. :) We are standing in front of the gate that walks up to our house we are staying at. 

After that darling picture was taken, we all fell asleep. Seth on our bed, Jannie on hers, Sam on the couch and Ellie upstairs. I fell asleep by myself on Sam's bed with Jayne and Jake playing around me, but one at a time they both fell asleep by me. I woke up in a twisted mess of little arms and legs, but I was so dead asleep I didn't even notice. 

Friends of the owners of the house stopped by to check that we had arrived and that everything was going well. The internet wasn't working so Paul had come to help with that.  Tali, the lady who came by, said she would take me quickly to a little grocery store to get things we needed for morning. It was quite the experience and I am so glad she was with me. Israeli's for the most part speak English, not fluently, but they can usually understand a bit and communicate okay. But reading labels and shekel conversion was a bit tricky for me. Talia was funny, because she would pick up something and say,"Children love this." and then she would put it my basket. I thought I had bought some cookies for the kids and when the kids started eating them their faces turned a bit sour. They weren't sweet at all, but salty and a bit stale tasting. And we bought our milk in little bags of milk. It tasted a bit different and I thought for sure Jayne would reject it, but actually she liked it a lot. Phew. 

When you are so tired you don't really feel like eating. But in the evening we decided to take the kids to have their first falafel. Tali had showed me where the "best falafel" place is in the neighborhood. We showered up and they didn't speak English, but understood enough to get us our dinner. The falafel's were awesome, but Ellie, Jayne, and Jayne only really stuck to the fries. We laughed so hard when we sent Sam to ask for a napkin and they handed him a straw. Obviously they didn't understand what he was asking but it made for a very good laugh. We had to take a picture of Sam holding his "napkin." 

Its going to be a great adventure. 

Getting out the Door

When we came up with this plan, we knew we needed help. So we talked to our families. Seth's mom, Janis, volunteered to join us for the first month in Israel and my mom, Dianne, said she would come for the second month in Israel or to travel Europe with us. So on the night before we left, Seth's parents arrived. Allen came to say goodbye and drive our car to Utah, and Janis to join us on the plane. We had a nice dinner with them the night before we left.

Many friends asked me if I was scared or intimidate to go. The answer was Yes and Yes, but I got to the point of being so sick of packing and preparing and anticipating that I just wanted to GO!

Finally the day came, we worked to the last second. Phew, we made it out the door. We fought traffic to the airport- led by our trusty driver - Tyler.                                 Jake didn't last long.

Don't they look excited?

The kids watched some movies on the plane and then crashed at about 10 p.m. We put Sam on the floor at our feet. Seth at his own two seats, and Ellie laid down on hers and Sam's seat. I had Jake and Jayne curled up on their seats and their heads on my lap. So it was a long flight threw the night. And after a 9 1/2 hour flight we made it to Amsterdam. We had plans to go out and about, but when we got their we were all too tired. We put Seth bed in room at the Airport Yotel (single beds you can rent out. I told Ellie they looked like little alien pods.) But he check out and felt a bit better after resting. The rest of us wandered the airport, fell asleep on the benches and ate - for our 8 hour layover. If I were to do it again, I would do it differently, but I was too much in a fog to take on anything more than survival.

 Luckliy, the Amsterdam airport is awesome. It had all sorts of cool things. A library, a computer lab, a playground, and a mall. So between naps, we would venture out to see the different things. But when the time came to catch our flight to Israel, we were happy to go.

The kids as we were waiting to go through security for our flight to Israel.

It was only a 4 hour flight to Tel Aviv, but I was so tired I just remember trying to keep Jake from climbing up and down the seats and driving the rest of the plan crazy. I was in and out of sleep. Sam had a total melt down from exhaustion, Jake wouldn't go to sleep. In the end, somehow he stopped moving because when we touched down in Tel Aviv, I woke up and he was asleep in my lap. 

It was 2:30 a.m. when we arrived. For some reason this picture was blurry, thank goodness, because we weren't looking so hot. 

So the amazing part of the trip was that we got our rental car at the airport (at 3 a.m.). All our phones had died or had no service, and we had no GPS- and with only a written address in our hand we drove to Jerusalem (about 45 minutes) and then found our house. We only had to ask two people along the way how to get there. And now after driving in during the daytime and the little windy roads, it really was amazing we found this place (at 5:30 a.m.)! No wonder we feel messed up. :) But we made it.

The Next Great Adventure

Dear Friends,

I guess we need to catch you up. After returning from Israel last fall, we've had a nagging feeling to return. Last fall we were waiting and waiting for the Brainstorm trial (a stem cell therapy trial for ALS) to accept us into the trial. Seth had qualified for the trial but we knew there were only 4 spots that remained open and more than a dozen who qualified, and thousands who wanted to be apart of it. Seth kept saying we should go, without being accepted. I was hesitant, feeling like we should go after being accepted. A two week war broke out and we were held off. We waited and waited. But finally in November found out that all the spots for the trial had been filled and they were no longer recruiting.  Our hearts sunk. In the meantime, we pursed a drug therapy trial that we felt like we had been guided to. It was a trial to treat the autoimmune symptoms that Seth has. So from Jan-April Seth tried a drug treatment. In the end it proved ineffective for him. The end of March, as I was feeling frustrated with the lack of options to help Seth, I said to Seth, just in passing, maybe we should purse Israel again. He again contacted Israel and they said- no, they weren't recruiting and they weren't treating anyone beyond the trial. But Seth said we still need to go. I had learned from the fall, that nothing was going to happen if we weren't there, in Israel, in their faces. On April 15th, I sat with Seth in our Seattle living room and tearfully told him, "Okay, let's go." We decided that day we would take our family to Israel in one month from the day- May 17th. We decided if we were going to go, we wouldn't wait for school to get out, we would just follow the prompting and go. In that one month time, we bought out tickets, rented our home in Seattle for three months, rented a home in Israel, prepared our children to miss school, packed up our house (with an army of friends), and left for Israel. We again were told, "Don't come, we can't help you." But we also know that there have been some patients treated outside of the trial, and so we come with a small hope that this might be apart of the plan. We felt like the window for Seth to qualify to be treated was closing, so we would give it one last try. We also decided that, we would take our family and walk on some of the most holy ground in the world together. We didn't really make "a plan" but "plans" to move forward. We decided we would spend the month of May-June to purse the trial in Israel with the option to extend our time in Israel for another month until mid July if needed. After the first month, if things didn't move forward or we didn't feel like we were suppose to be apart of the trial, than we would travel through Eastern Europe for the month of June/July with the kids. Returning to our families in Utah for the month of July/August and returning home to Seattle mid August. This is our "plans" and could change at any moment. So now you find us in Israel. We already have lots of stories to share of the miracles of this past month getting here and we know there will be many more to come. We are excited to share this with you. A GIANT thanks goes out to our Seattle village for helping us, once again, pack up our house, feed us while we did so, and said goodbye to us for another Christensen adventure. Another GIANT thanks for those who encouraged and supported through words and prayers with this decision. We could not have done this without you. Once again, we see what an incredible family and group of friends that we have. We are forever grateful for your support, to not only us, but to our children as well. And with the fog of jet lag, my eyes are filled with tears at the thought of you reading this and continuing to support us from a distance. We love you and can't wait to share this next adventure with you.

March Post- Sleeping, American Girl Doll, and Easter

I went into my room to find Jake sleeping standing up between my mattress and the footboard... symbolic that sometimes you just got to sleep- no matter what. :) I am glad he landed right side up.

Jayne and Jake offen have a hard time going to sleep. Sometimes I have the energy to get them down, and other times I let them wined down by themselves. This night they had come up a couple times and finally I told them to go fall asleep on the floor in our room. I came in a bit later and found the two- with no jammies and snuggled up to sleep. It totally cracks me up. Love Jayne's piggy squished in the middle. 

And sometimes we feel like this.....

Or like this....................................................................or like this. 

Check out that hair. Love this girl- not a morning person.

Jake went to his first birthday party by himself. It was a pirate party so on went the pirate cloths. We couldn't find our sword, so Sam made a cardboard sword and covered it in duct tape. Jake was in heaven. He looks really scary.

This is kind of a fun story. A year ago, Ellie had applied and was accepted to be an American Girl Doll model for the Children's Hospital Fundraiser. But when we decided to go to Hawaii, Ellie knew she wouldn't be able to participate. It was her little sacrifice for our adventure. So when we returned to Seattle this fall, I contacted again the AG fundraising group and even though they had filled their whole cast, they said they would work Ellie into a spot. She was thrilled. She raised $725 dollars by making Valentine Garland that she gave to those who donated to Children's Hospital. Beyond that we had a group of 22 moms, daughters, and grandmas attend the event. It was really a neat experience. Below is is some of the cute girls all dress up for the fashion show.

This is our adopted grandma Rose. Jake calls her Gramma Rosie. 

Here is one of the tables of friends and family.

This is the other table full of Ellie supporters.

Here she comes walking out on the runway. She was chosen as the American Girl "just like me" model. These dolls are really cute since you can choose a doll with the same hair color, skin color, and eye color. Ellie didn't stop smiling as she walked the runway.

Since it was a fashion show you didn't clap until the announcers stopped talking so we decided to stand and wave instead of clap out loud. All twenty two of us were standing right in front of her as she posed center stage. I thought were little face was going to burst with that smile. 

This is the grand finale when all the models come out and they announce the amount of money raised for Children's hospital. 

Here we are after picking her up after the show.

Here's my cute mom who flew in to watch Ellie. We were so happy to have her there.

I love these girls more than words can say. They are my little mini-me's in there own little ways. We sometimes drive each other crazy because we are the same person, but we also understand each other more than anyone else in the world. We're going to stick together us girls. 

Easter came way too quick this year. March Easter? Not so good at that. But we joined in the Annual Easter egg hunt held with friends from our ward. This year the hunt was held at the Montiel's home. Here's these two little rascals getting prepped for the hunt. 

 Sam and Ellie excited as ever, ha!

Ellie found her twelve eggs.

Jakey enjoying his spoils. No candy made it home to our house.

This is the after egg hunt party. I love these people. They are great- everyone of them. So lucky to know them and call them friends.

Jayne had a birthday party and so she showed up late to the egg hunt. Sam and Ellie hunted an extra 6 eggs  each for Jayne. Then when she showed up, Sam re-hid the 12 eggs and Jayne had her own hunt. It made it so she could do it all. 

So I always attempt to get new Easter outfits and take Easter pictures, but this I was only able to kind of get outfits. Everyone go a little something. But the picture taking wasn't so successful. Jake went to his nursery class at church and got bubbles in his eye. Hence we won't up his eye and it is all red and swollen. The picture below was as good as it gets. I think they are darling regardless.

Here's Jayne bug.

And darling Ellie.

Here's Sam- looking so big and just like his Daddy at his age.

As you can see there is no Easter picture of Jake. His poor eye was too red and swollen as you can see in the picture below. Since we hadn't seen the sun much in 2013 and then bubbles in his eye, he couldn't stay outside for more that a minute. But he disappeared with Sam and they came back saying that it was twin day. Sam had dressed them both in twinner clothes and they got their twinner nerf guns. Love these boys. Glad that they have each other as brothers.

Belief, Faith, and Knowledge

Hi all,

I plan to provide a detailed health update later this week, but (spoiler alert) A) lack major breaking news on this front and, B) have wanted for some time to attempt to share some thoughts on the role of belief and faith in my life and in "The Project". I share what I can knowing that:

1. Words are limited in their ability to convey meaning...
2. Some who read this might be surprised....good! now you know me better
3. Not all will agree
4. Some will passionately disagree
5. Our (your and my) learning is not yet complete

The beauty of trying to do this via blog is that, unless you comment, I have no idea who has read a post...you can choose to comment or remain anonymous for whatever reason. :)

First, my personal working definitions (subject to change): 

• Hopes: those things we desire to be true
• Beliefs: those things we assume to be true
• Truths: those things that are facts no matter what we believe
• Faith: the personal gift / ability / power to act on truth(s) which we have not yet received of full knowledge of ourselves
• Knowledge: our awareness / understanding of truth

During the Project, we've found our education accelerated  in unforeseen ways. Though physical/symptomatic change has been gradual, spiritually and emotionally-speaking, the entire world shifted the day of my diagnosis and appeared suddenly and significantly more real, intense, and filled with BIG/scary questions and BIG/scary opportunities for good. Amy and I had known what it was like to be "exposed to the elements" before, but, compared with our new Project, never for so long that we couldn't soon be distracted from the intensity of the experience. With sustained intensity has come knowledge. This knowledge has come in circular degrees as we've implicitly tested and adjusted our beliefs, exercised faith by acting on those beliefs we've found to be true, and continually resubmitted our newly expanded and faith-proven beliefs to the adjustment process. In this period of intensity, I honestly feel many more 'things' have progressed from hope to belief to knowledge than any previous / comparative time-period. Here are a few things I've begun to say I "know":

God exists, knows and loves us individually, and will teach us:

Looking back, I can not say clearly when I first believed in God's existence, but I can now name countless experiences that I feel are direct experiences with God which have galvanized this belief into knowledge. These experiences have been convincing because they have differed in FEELING from any other experiences in my life--distinctly deeper, more mind-expanding, more fulfilling, more desirable, and clearer. In addition to the feeling that accompanies them, unlike other experiences, these experiences never conflict/disagree, always bring peace, and have a way of shedding light and understanding on other areas of life. These experiences typically happen only when I am living up to the knowledge I've previously learned and are so specifically fit to my needs and circumstances at the time, that I am left no option but to believe they are custom built to my individual progress. The frequency of these experiences increases dramatically as I not only live up to and act on my knowledge, but TRUST that God is in control, that I don't need to fear, and that more knowledge will come in the appropriate time...timing heavily influenced or preceded by my readiness to receive that knowledge.

The most frequent activity during which I've had these experiences is during my personal search of scripture...particularly the Book of Mormon. I invite all I know to add this book to your own search for knowledge/truth--to read it with an open heart, comparing it with other things you know spiritually to be true, and thereby test its goodness/truth for yourself. I'm happy to provide a copy if you want one.

Some of God's greatest lessons come only through hardship or suffering: As mentioned above, the path of our education during the Project has been unforeseeable from the start. This was true of no part more so than the start itself...I personally thought I was more prepared than I turned out to be. Jeffrey Holland, quoting C.S. Lewis' words about facing his wife's illness and death, came as close to expressing my experience as anyone I've read:

". . . I had been warned—[indeed,] I had warned myself. . . . [I knew]we were. . . promised sufferings. . . . [That was] part of the program. We were even told, "Blessed are they that mourn," and I accepted it. I've got nothing that I hadn't [agreed to]. . . . [So] if my house. . . collapsed at one blow, that is because it was a house of cards. The faith which "took these things into account" was not[an adequate] faith. . . . If I had really cared, as I thought I did[care], about the sorrows of [others in this] world, [then] I should not have been so overwhelmed when my own sorrow came. . . . I thought I trusted the rope until it mattered. . . . [And when it indeed mattered, I found that it wasn't strong enough.]. . . You will never discover how serious it [is] until the stakes are raised horribly high; [and God has a way of raising the stakes] . . . [sometimes] only suffering [can] do [that]."

Some of you were with us in those first few days of the Project, and saw and felt the shock we experienced right along with us. I'll never forget day two when family watched the kids and Amy and I spent the most broken day of my life so far--we could do nothing but sit and hold each other. Following that day, due to a combination of our beliefs, the nature of my diagnosis, and that specific time of our lives, we had no option but to begin to rely on our faith--ACTING on truths we didn't yet have a complete knowledge of. Our experience since that day has continued to be unforeseeable, but has been, in most ways, richer than before. Life is best when we live and act on what we know to be true no matter how scary it seems.

Trusting God and giving up fear is a hard--maybe the hardest--thing: 

Though I've had these experiences, I continue to struggle with "entrusting" certain things to God. Again, I'll rely on Holland quoting Lewis:

"You never know how much you really believe anything, until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to [tie] a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn't you then first discover how much you really trusted it? . . . Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief. . . Your [view of] . . . eternal life. . . will not be [very] serious if nothing much [is at] stake."

For me, the hardest thing to entrust to God's care has been Amy and the kids' happiness if I were to leave this life. I feel silly and embarrassed even typing that given how imperfectly I've delivered their happiness while here, but no fear has been harder for me to deal with than my family's loneliness or suffering in or due to my imagined absence. In considering this I've realized that our greatest fears often exist in the midst of or even despite our greatest knowledge to the contrary: I know God exists and loves me and my family. I know that he knows all things. I know he has all power to take or give my life. I know that hardship can be a great blessing. So why do I fear that too much will be asked or taken? I believe SOME  of this fear comes not from mistrusting God, but from mistrusting myself--that I've somehow allowed my own weakness to influence my interpretation of my experiences with God. I am working on this.

We are more closely connected than we may recognize:

Just this past week, I thought of and texted a dear friend for the first time in 5 months. His response was immediate:

"Strange, very strange! I was thinking about you and Amy in the middle of the night. Then 7 hours later you reach out with a text. I'd like to talk. Call at your convenience."

He and I spoke shortly thereafter and quickly agreed that this was not surprising at all since both of us have had many of these experiences, some even more dramatic, that leave little room for doubt that we share unseen connections with each other. I'm not sure whether we are directly connected, or whether we're being put in contact by some type of spiritual 'switchboard', but I have been amazed (especially during our Project) at the perfection of these connections in both content and timing. We've run into medical, financial, employment, service, or other dead-ends only to have old friends or even perfect strangers appear suddenly with a solution MUCH better than any we'd imagined. A dramatic example of this was our family's experience in 2012. My February 16 journal entry reads:

"We have made plans to take a temporary leave from Microsoft and to spend up to 6 months on the North Shore of Oahu. The goal of this plan is to follow a path that we feel has been opened before us, and to dedicate time to healing and family. We've had a tremendous outpouring of love and support from our friends here in Seattle. Final details about housing, cars, Microsoft, and BYUH volunteering have not been completed and are somewhat stressful...While Amy and I have both felt strong confirmation that the plan is acceptable to the Lord, I have failed to distance myself completely from doubts and fears that I will somehow lead my family astray. I pray that the Lord will guide and direct me to overcome my fear and to follow him in faith." 

My June 25 entry reads:

"With the help of our adopted family in Seattle, we packed up our house and moved to Oahu on February 24th. Moving to paradise was not as easy for us as one might think--we love our Seattle family, knew only a few acquaintances in Hawaii, we'd found no renters for our Seattle home, and our Hawaii rental plans fell through three days prior to departure. As we decided to move forward, we were soon overwhelmed with 'tender mercies' as new friends, old friends, relatives of old friends, and old friends of old friends 'suddenly' appeared in our path and rented our home, opened their home to us, gave us their rental home and car, and found us a more permanent place to stay during our family retreat/adventure. Faith, followed by chaos, precedes the miracle."

We still wonder about God's timing. Why do the connections and experiences flow so effortlessly and clearly at times, while not at others? I am confident that God knows and that these experiences increase as we exercise faith.

I am humbled by and grateful for my knowledge of God's nature, infantile though it may be. I believe that all other knowledge is subject to and dependent on this and pray that I might know Him perfectly.

Thanks for reading.

Seth